Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today (part 2) by Nikki.
Very interesting read that has gave me great understanding. I feel my father has ruined my self esteem on the other hand I have a beautiful gifted angel as a mother who tried her very best which I admire…but the man she choice to father her child (my dad) is another story.
He became a drug addict throughout my childhood from 5 until I was 15 still living with us and causing hell in the family home. I’ve seen many things a child shouldn’t see and he affected my mother’s nerves really badly.
To this day I believe I’m not good enough for any guy I get with, I doubt myself and I question myself and think I don’t deserve them. I don’t get on with my father at all and part of me wishes he had a drug overdose as he’s such a horrible person. He gives me abuse about my appearance yet everyone tells me how pretty I am, even strangers yet he’s the one with the ruined looks with drug abuse.
I have a rubbish career, I don’t feel good enough or believe in myself. I have terrible body image, I believe this is why I’m single for so long my body confidence and I work out 4 times a week at the gym. I don’t have much confidence when I do regain some he will pull it down again. I found myself in my early 20s trying hard to please him, gain approval and love by buying him expensive gifts for birthdays Christmas and fathers day. Now finally in my middle 20s I have gave up and realised what I was trying to do for nothing in return. He shows me no love, no time, nothing. He just seems bitter and destroyed as a human being
