Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today (part 2) by Alexis Marie.
Hi Sarah,
Since I healed myself from the negative relationship that I had with my father throughout my formative years; it gave me a sense of strength that I could achieve so much without his love and attention. ‘What doesn’t break you makes you stronger’, right?
My father was absent in our up-bringing, critical and not emotionally involved with us and verbally aggressive towards my mother. He moved his girlfriend into our family home and the separation was bitter.
I protected my Mum, grew-up fast, suffered with my own identity and relationships, sought approval through sexual gratification only to find myself feeling further de-based….I didn’t speak to him for several years in my twenties but began to feel that I needed to resolve the issues as i was displaying all the classic symptomsof having daddy issues and I thought I had done so by seeking to understand his side of the story and talking to him which I did. So I thought I had dealt with my issues.
However, what I hadn’t realised was that due to all the issues that tormented my childhood and teenage years, I developed a deep-seated mechanism for dealing with stress which leads me into hyper-activity.
Further to post-traumatic stress induced by the circumstances of the birth of my twins, I resorted to coping using the mechanisms I developed as a child and they let me down. I’ve basically burnt myself out by trying too hard. So how do I heal this more deeply and find better coping strategies, ensure I don’t subconsciously hurt my husband and finally get over my Dad?
It was much easier when I thought I could just ‘achieve’ my way out of my past!
