Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by Mark.
I left my wife after 13 years of marriage, we have 2 children together 10 and 13. They live with her in the family home and i now live with my parents, i was having them 3 times a week in my parents home as there are plenty of spare rooms. Since we separated i’ve met someone and my ex immediately told the kids that i was having an affair and that’s why i left which is of course not true.
Going back about 6 months my children gave me an ultimatum – them or her!
I told them they are more important to me than anyone in the world and that i love them more than anything and they can’t make me pick them or who i have a relationship with.
Their mother encouraged this ultimatum and still maintains there’s nothing she can do to change their minds, however surely i can’t be the only one who thinks it is her duty as a mother to teach our children that it is not healthy to try and control peoples lives by giving them ultimatums like this. They will surely grow up to believe that this is normal behaviour and carry this pattern of control with them their whole lives. Am i wrong? Do i give up my relationship to make them happy? or do i stick to my guns and teach them that this is wrong?
Please someone give their views because i’m starting to think i’m in the wrong here.
Cheers,
Mark
