Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today (part 2) by Whatislove.
Geo, you sound very sad and defeated. Are you tired? Do you feel like you have tried your best but no one seems to notice? I think the key to improving your relationships will be to get yourself some therapy, to heal yourself first. Perhaps you suffered from a difficult childhood? What was your relationship with your parents like? Remember that, as a parent, it is important for you not to expect to be ‘parented’ by your child. Do not allow your feelings of inadequacy get in the way of your relationship with your daughter. You can be honest with her about how tired you are, about how your experiences have ‘drained your bucket’ so to speak, and make it difficult for you to express love and affection. Crucially though- remind her how much you DO love her regardless, that you value her and are happy to have her in your life. Your story reminds me of my own father, who works hard and provides for his family, but cannot tell me he loves me, and only focuses on what he thinks I am doing wrong. At nearly 40 years old I have started drawing some boundaries. He is not taking it well at all and refuses to be self-reflective at all. He really needs therapy but I doubt he’ll ever admit that. Think about what you stand to lose.
