Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today (part 2) by Ray.
Thank you for this article. I have two beautiful daughters, they are adopted, and both of them came to my home at the age of 4. One has just turned 13 and the other will be 8 in less than a month.
I started becoming very frustrated, as a father, when my oldest started growing up and wanting to wear make up, etc., in the past year. However, now, I just let it go, and let her be who she wants to be. I have found in the last two months that she is actually opening up to me and sharing her world. However, I am concerned that neither of them will ever fully trust me as a father, because both of them, came out of a VERY abusive situation before coming into my home. I have no idea how badly they were impacted by their early years, and hope there is some way that adoptive/step parents can overcome the damage that can occur in the 6 year old download you mention in your article.
Both of these beautiful little girls are biologically the nieces of my wife, and the relationship between her and her brother was very bad. I am afraid this colors her relationship with the girls poorly, and it shows. I don’t want them to continue paying for something that they had no control over.
I am glad you wrote these articles and I look forward to more. My biggest fear is for the future, I can already tell there is going to be a lot of bittersweet pain as my girls grow up and leave the home, that is going to be the hardest thing for me to deal with in the future, because I won’t be able to protect them anymore as adults.
