Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by doris.
I am Mum of a beautiful talented young daughter. I am married and we are happy, my husband is my daughter’s father but since she was young he has had issues with her behaviour, she is willful. She is now 23 and is well aware that her father is not a fan of hers, she states he hates her, I don’t think he does but understand why she feels this way. He finds fault in everything she does and the way she behaves.
She doesn’t do what we think but is in no way a bad person, she is just very unconventional and does things her own way which I applaud although it does cause me a lot of worry. At times I understand his worries or complaints although don’t feel the constant critisism will get us anywhere and feel we need to support and trust her to make the right decisions. I worry so much about the effects of his behaviour on her and also hers on him.
He suffers from depression and I feel when he is ill it is worse but am never sure if this is my excuse for his behaviour towards her. It is not a simple solution I know but I have seen them get on together and to me it is beautiful as they bounce off each other as they are similar in wit and manner.
They both talk to me about the problems with the other although my husband thinks I stick up for my daughter and I feel they have lost trust in each other and are fed up of going over old ground all the time. I sometimes think I should have left my husband when the children were younger but he would still be their father, I have talked to them both but it seems to get worse.
I am at the point now that I will continue to nurture my relationship with them both separately but don’t know if what I am doing is wrong or right. Wer have a son who is 25 and gets on with Dad most of the time and also recognises the problems between my daughter and husband. He wants us to go on holiday together next year but I think it will be too stressful, any words of wisdom would be greatly received
