Michael, thank you so much for sharing that. I think …

Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by Sarah Best.

Michael, thank you so much for sharing that.

I think your honesty is very courageous. And I don’t think your spending so long writing is at all selfish. Quite the opposite.

I’m no legal expert and you need someone who is, to walk you through your options here.

But I will say, from a parenting perspective, that you’re absolutely on the right track with this:

“My efforts to show her my love have been a priority in my thoughts, feelings, time, finances and all other resources”.

While you figure out your options and regardless of whether you get it back, keep that love flowing.

Whatever the situation, that is always the right thing to do.

I wish you all the very best.

Sarah Best Also Commented

So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today
Hi Jean! It’s not clear from your comment whether you’ve read the article 🙂 Nothing in it is meant to diminish the role of mothers, nor is it in any way a question of who gets the “credit”. This isn’t a competition 🙂

The view that fathers are not important as parents is an outdated one. And it’s one of the reasons so many families are just as you describe, with the father unengaged and most of the job of parenting – and particularly parenting girls – falling on the mother’s shoulders.

Every word you wrote suggests that you grew up in such a family and that it’s given you a very negative view of fathers 🙁 In the email you sent me, you ended by asking “Why do you do this?” It’s very simple. I write on the father-daughter relationship for all of the daughters, and fathers – and MOTHERS! – who see how important this relationship is and that it needs to be talked about more.


So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today
Hi Gus! While I don’t have time now to search out specific references, if you Google some key words you’ll find a ton of information relating to the fact that small children are like sponges – and that what parents say, how they think and how they act all have a profound effect on them. Thank you for highlighting the fact that I could have been clearer here. Absorb would be a better word than download, so I’m adjusting the article accordingly 🙂 Sarah


So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today
Hi Raj,

Sorry to hear that. There are two ways I can help:

1. I’ve recently started a newsletter for dads who are looking to improve their relationship with their daughter. It’s free and it’s full of great info and insights. You can sign up for that here.
2. If you’re looking for personalised assistance/advice, I now offer 30 and 60 minute Skype sessions. For further details or to book, email me at sarah at sarahbesthealth.com.

Sarah


Recent Comments by Sarah Best

A cautionary tale: the “Raw Vegan Village”
Mine too, Amie. Thank you for the share, and for your kind words x


Is this common deficiency sabotaging YOUR health?
Hi Katie,

The 20g of carbs to which you limit yourself is not just a low carb diet but a *very* low carb diet – and my site is *not* a low (nor very low) carb diet site. While I appreciate the good reasons for limiting carbs and that of course it is very easy to overdo them, in my opinion, the negatives of restricting them to that extent far outweigh any positives.

There’s the stress and difficulty of keeping carb intake at such a low level, and all the healthy food options it cuts out (including the severe limits it puts on *fruit and vegetable* consumption – as illustrated so well by your comment). *Plus* the fact that anyone restricting carbs that much must by definition be getting a very high proportion of their calories from protein and/or fat. And there’s more convincing evidence that both of those might have negative health outcomes, than that increasing carbs to say 150g a day – still a low/restricted carb diet – would.

You say that you can’t have more than 50g of kale per day because of carb content, and that a person would have to be “crazy” to consume lentils, chick peas or brown rice… After falling into orthorexia in the past, what now seems crazy to me – as well as unhealthy – is that level of fear about eating moderate amounts of whole, natural foods.

As important as good nutrition is, we’re nourished not only by foods but by our emotions and relationships. As humans, we’re a highly adaptable species and can thrive on many different whole food diets. But we can’t thrive without joy and meaningful connections with others. And the reason I bring that in is that I know that at those times when I was preoccupied treating my diet like a stressful and complex mathematics puzzle that I had to get “right” every day – the times when I might have written a comment like the one you did – that took up so much time, energy and “bandwidth” that I had a lot less of those things available for connecting deeply with others and/or experiencing true joy.

And on those occasions when I was doing that in order to “balance the books” on a restricted carb regimen, we can add to that the physical, mental and emotional stress I so clearly remember experiencing, when trying to exist on a carb intake that was way lower than my body (and I would say most people’s) could happily sustain. And I’m talking there about times when I was trying to limit my carbs to no more than 100g a day.

This is genuinely meant to be helpful – to you and anyone else who might be reading it. You might not experience it that way and you might also disagree with every word! I’m unable to engage in further debate about those places where our opinions differ but I thank you for stopping by!

Sarah x


Is this common deficiency sabotaging YOUR health?
Yes


A cautionary tale: the “Raw Vegan Village”
Hi Luna,

Last I heard no one who lost money ever received it back. If anyone reading this knows differently, please comment!

Sarah xo


Is this common deficiency sabotaging YOUR health?
Hi Carol!

Thank you for the lovely feedback!

The sun dried tomatoes can be either kind.

Sarah xo