Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by Tom.
Hi,
I have a challenging situation. My daughter is 16 and lives with Mom and Stepdad a state away now for three years. She has been through a hard divorce and before the move she was with me 40% of the time. Now it’s only summer and we talk once in a while. It’s been a challenge to stay in touch and her mother has refused to co-parent since the divorce over 10 years ago. Court orders were to keep communications going through regular calls, Skype Facetime, and rules set to keep her out of the middle. Sadly none of this is happening and she is extremely angry and hostile. It’s been impossible to keep her connected with her extended family and now she uses communication time with me as a weapon to hurt.
I show her love at every turn with calls, text, cards, letters. Recently went up for an open house at her school and she refused to see me. Both stepdad and mom want me out of their lives and as such hers as well. Now I find they have blocked texting with her and also have her refusing to come back to see me and family. Text with her mom between us are shared with her to force triangulation and she seems meshed with her mom so I am the bad guy no matter what. I keep trying but nothing works. Too late for the court as she is 16. So hard when her Dad tries so much and lost everything in the process. When she is with me its different but as soon as she is back with her mom it turns back into a nightmare. My only hope is that she goes far away to college to break away and become herself. Maybe then I can have a relationship with her but for now it’s toxic.
