Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by Keely.
This article REALLY spoke to me and really hit on how I feel about the whole father, daughter relationship. In the midst of my parents getting divorced, my father and I had a HUGE falling out because I discovered (while my mother and father, not yet divorced mind you, were still living together) my father had been speaking to another woman he worked with for a LONG time all because he made the mistake of leaving his Facebook open for anyone to see and after my telling my mother what I had discovered, he was EXTREMELY angry at me and with me.
When I got pregnant last year and got married, my father never reached out to me nor did he express his feelings toward any of the two most important events in my life which really make me resent him all the more. With all that being said, he and my husband (who STILL have never met to this day and my husband is a wonderful man) got into a HUGE fight over the phone all because my husband told my father what I had been feeling and how I honestly feel about our relationship which was followed by my own father saying, “You’re dead to me. Never call me or contact me again.” And I have not spoken to him since.
He has NEVER seen or met his only grandson, has NEVER met or seen his only son-in-law, and as much as I hate to say it, I don’t foresee things changing with our relationship but that may be for the better. I don’t want my son to be disappointed by his grandfather like I was growing up especially feeling emotionally neglected and I don’t want him to get hurt because of what his grandfather might do or say. I have tried reaching out to my father but nothing ever changes.
I have pretty much given up hoping he will try to be an adult and change his ways even though I have always been closer to my mother anyway and not because of the divorce but my mother always made time for my brothers and I, took vacations with us, talked to us about things, and she’s ALWAYS been there for all of us.
I don’t even care if I suffer from our strained relationship, but I don’t want my son coming to me some day and wanting to know why his grandfather has never spoken to him, seen him, or has never spent time with him. That alone breaks my heart. I hope some day, even if he is old and gray, he will come to his senses and take advantage of the time he has left because he is wasting precious time.
