Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by Anna Christine.
Hi,
After reading all these posts I’m encouraged to write to you about my situation. I am in my fifties and still suffering from the damage that my father did to my mother, my siblings and myself.
He had affairs while we were all still under 10 resulting in us needing to leave the state where we lived ( small population where he was a big fish in small pond scenario).
We moved to another state after selling family home then rented. That lasted until Christmas Eve when he left the family with his boss’s daughter and vanished overseas for 4 years leaving us homeless and hearbroken, without financial support.
Fast forward to his return and a fledgling relationship formed. Then my older 19 year old brother was killed in an accident, the family was plunged into grief and pain. Dad dealt with it by getting involved immediately with a woman who became pregnant almost instantly, she already had three small daughters.
He abandoned us all over again, moved in with her family and took over the financial and spiritual care of that family.
My family continued to be neglected and abused whilst being aware of the large family house he bought them, top private schools, horses, hiolidays etc while we couldn’t afford decent clothes or school field trips.
My steo mother made sure that any money was kept with her purse strings and my mother to this day lives in poverty in govt housing.
So, cut to the chase…..my father has made some effort since his wife passed away but now is incapacitated and needing care, all of a sudden I have four step-siblings to deal with who are territorial, insensitive and obnoxious and clearly want us to disappear.
My relationships with men have been painful and disastrous, my sister even worse. She is a recluse, morbidly obese and rarely leaves her apartment. Dad has never given me or my brother any kind of help finacnially but has been very generous to his ‘second’ family. He naively expects us all to work together and I am struggling and feel about to flip my lid.
Help!
