Comment on So you grew up with a dad who didn’t know how to express love? Here’s how it could be affecting you today by Hattie.
I came from quite a stable home and I have some happy memories but through my childhood my dad criticised me so much more than he praised me and also used to hit me, starting at a very young age. My parents are highly respected members of their community and always presented and still do an image of themselves as perfect parents. Even I used to believe it and think it was all normal and okay and that I deserved the verbal and physical punishments. As a result I felt deeply ashamed to the core of my being and I developed an anxiety disorder by the age of 13 – yet to my parents and the rest of my family, “my” problems have nothing to do with my parents. In my 20s I had a boyfriend who had an anger problem and was very aggressive and beat me on a couple of occasions. Then I met my husband, who has never been physically violent towards me, and he has been a big support to me, but he regularly turns on me and is verbally abusive. It feels horrible but at the same time it feels normal; it’s all I’ve ever know in relationships with men. I’m 43 now, I still suffer from anxiety, and I’m so exhausted.
